Tales from Rural Maine: Lemons (or Melons...)

Friday night, at a friend's Tastefully Simple party a middle-aged woman I'd never met before walked up to me and said, "You're AWESOME." Then she seemed to consider my breasts and before I knew what was happening, her hand darted out. She grabbed the front of my top, pulled it out, and very nearly stuck her face in. 


I was a little slow catching up to these events, having not seen it coming, so my first reaction was actually to join her in looking down. I think I thought that maybe there would be something new down there, something unexpected that would make grabbing my top seem like an okay thing to do. But all I saw was what she and everyone nearby saw: my lacy, see-through bra, which still contained the same two really quite ordinary breasts I had packed into it when I got dressed. 


I looked up at the people around me, blushing, I think, and then my new friend let the top snap back in place and walked off. I was left to conclude that putting gin in the sangria, while delicious, can only lead to trouble...And also, as I near 40, I suppose that, while my intoxicated friend's judgement was not the most discerning, I might still chalk it up as a "win" that my breasts were the ones chosen to be accosted from the dozen or so pairs on offer at the party. Why not consider this a compliment? As our Tastefully Simple sales rep says, "When life hands you lemons, get a bucket."